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Special Guest Expert - Gabrielle Hartley

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Announcer:
Welcome to The Mind Body Business Show. The three keys to your success is just moments away. Here's your host, Brian Kelly.

Brian Kelly:
Hello everyone, and welcome, welcome, welcome to The Mind Body Business Show. Oh, my goodness. We have the most amazing guest expert tonight. You are going to be absolutely blown away with this energized woman that is coming on very, very soon. I've had a wonderful time chatting it up with her just before the show came on. And this is a...she's a dynamo. And I can't wait to share her with you because she's going to bring so much value. And what does that mean, bring so much value? Well, the show is called Mind Body Business Show. And that is because I found that there are patterns that developed in successful people that I followed and studied. And they all seem to stem from these three main areas. One being the mind, other words, mindset, a powerful rock solid mindset, flexible in all cases, always going forward, never making excuses. Body, body. Every successful person that I studied and followed took care of themselves. They exercised. Now, that doesn't mean if you're a guy, you had to be a bodybuilder, or if you're a woman, you had to be a supermodel. It just means you need to move and exercise on a regular basis and nutrition, along with that for your body, to put good things in. So so, your results are good out, you know, your your the way you go about your day, the way you perform during the day. And then there's business. My gosh, that is multifaceted. There are things like sales, marketing, team building, systematizing, leadership skills. And the thing I've found is those that I followed, that were successful, hadn't mastered all three areas. And when they do, I say they're working at a level of peak performance, a high level peak performance, the absolute top. And here's the thing. If you're not operating at a peak level in any of those three areas, well, then when would now be the right time to start looking into doing just that. And that is the whole purpose of this show is to give you the tools, the guidelines, the tips, and the secrets on how you too can be successful, like my guest expert who is coming on very, very soon. I promise. And speaking of success, I found another very common trait amongst the successful people, and that is they read voraciously. And on that note, we're going to switch over to a quick segment I call appropriately, Bookmarks.

Announcer:
Bookmarks. Born to read. Bookmarks. Ready, steady, read. Bookmarks. Brought to you by ReachYourPeakLibrary.com.

Brian Kelly:
Yes, ReachYourPeakLibrary.com. And for those of you watching and listening right now, do us do yourself a favor. Don't do us a favor. Do yourself a favor. Take out a piece of paper and a pen and take notes physically like, you know, old school time. And what I mean by that is rather than actually going off and looking at Web site addresses, things that you're gonna be getting resources through this evening, through this show from both myself and from Gabrielle, our guest expert. And when you do, just write it down and visit it after the show is over. And why do I say that? It's because the magic happens in the room. And this is a room. It's a virtual room. For you, I would really it would be a disservice if you were to leave and miss something because you were multitasking. And, you know, at that moment, that's probably when Gabrielle will give us that nugget that will just change your life forever. So stay with us, take notes and just have this have a blast and also comment. React on Facebook, on YouTube, on Periscope. We're all over the place. Many other places. We'd love to see your interactions. Maybe ask a question or two and we can bring those up on the show as well. So Reach Your Peak Library. What is that about? It's a website I put together literally with you in mind, with you in mind, the business owner that the person that's trying to take it to the next level. And it doesn't matter how successful one is, if you're a true entrepreneur, you're always, always seeking the next level or higher. And so with that, I started reading voraciously at a late time in my life. I learned that it was that valuable. And so when I started reading, I listened to them on Audible and I started cataloguing all the books that I had read into this website so that people like you could easily and quickly find books that, you know, are at least vetted by one other successful person. And that way, you're not wasting time by hunting and pecking, looking for something that is a good book. So that is there for you. ReachYourPeakLibrary.com so that you can achieve massive success. And coming you know, related to that, we have somebody here that I'd like to share with you. So if you don't mind, I'm gonna bring her on right now. Let's do that, shall we? Absolutely.

Announcer:
It's time for the Guest Expert Spotlight. Savvy. Skillful. Professional. Adept. Trained. Big league. Qualified.

Brian Kelly:
And there she is, ladies and gentlemen, the one the only Gabrielle Hartley. Yes, so, so excited that you're on this show, Gabrielle. How are you doing this evening?

Gabrielle Hartley:
I'm great. Thanks for having me.

Brian Kelly:
Oh, my goodness. This is going to be a rocket ride. Oh, this is gonna be so fun. So before I formally introduce you real quick, Gabrielle, if you don't mind, I want to remind our audience that if they stay on to the end watching this live, they can win a five-night stay at a five-star luxury resort in Mexico. And this is all brought to us by our wonderful friends at PowerTexting.com. You don't want to miss this. We give away a trip every, single show. And it's not a lure to take you into a timeshare. It's a legitimate five-night vacation stay. And I know that because the owner of Power Texting tested it himself with his daughter and had a blast. Back to our wonderful, wonderful guest. Gabrielle Hartley is a leading divorce attorney, mediator, coach, author, and speaker. That's accomplishment right there. Her new book, Better Apart The Radically Positive Way to Separate, by HarperCollins, is the first book of its kind to combine the life changing, healing wisdom of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga with practical advice and legal wisdom to get the reader through and beyond the divorce. Whew! He said at the big D word. Better apart was named the conscious uncoupling. How to. I was on double quotes that conscious uncoupling. How to buy. Get this. People magazine is making waves. She has also been featured throughout media channels, including The New York Times, U.S. News and World Report, The New York Post, Yoga Journal, and Mind Body Green. Now, if that isn't enough. Well, it is. It's actually enough for now, because that is one accomplished young lady sitting over here to my left. To your right on your screen is your viewing on the live, Mind Body Business Show. And that's an awesome intro to you, Gabrielle. But what I wanted to do is and this is something I do with every single guest that comes on. It's wonderful to learn your background like that. And what I'd like to do is go a little deeper. And what I mean by that is I've always been deeply curious of what is going on up here. The most powerful computer. Computers. Each one of ours on the planet. What is going on up there that get you to that point where you are today of supreme success? And by that, like in the very beginning. Let's say you're waking up and if you're anything like me here, a little groggy, right? When you're waking up and you spin around on the bed, your feet hit the floor, and maybe you start coming to a little bit. And then, you know, as you become more aware and conscious of, "OK, I'm awake and the days ahead of me." And now that drive, that motivation starts to kick in. And for you, Gabrielle, when it comes to maintaining that positive, productive, and successful mindset, how do you start off the day with that? And then how do you maintain it throughout each and every day as you go forward?

Gabrielle Hartley:
So for me, it's I'd like say I woke up groggy and like had a nice relaxing morning. But I pretty much spring awake at about 5:00 a.m. and I start checking my emails. I'm like fairly compulsive. And I don't really have to do anything to motivate myself. I'm incredibly self-motivated. So I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it definitely helps me a lot at work. It helps me to be a self-starter and to achieve my goals because I have a really strong internal drive that keeps bringing me forward. The thing that's hard for me is when I'm not 100 percent crystal clear on what's the next goal is, but even then I just keep going forward. And it's so much fun. So I don't like to do anything to get myself to start.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Oh, I can't hear you.

Brian Kelly:
Thank you. I love it because we're definitely different on that part because I don't get up that early. That's just to me, that's Vampire Time. But you know what? I love that.

Gabrielle Hartley:
At the end of the day, I crash like we're almost at my bedtime.

Brian Kelly:
I love it.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I'm on the East Coast.

Brian Kelly:
But honestly, to be to be honest, most successful people I run to do get up very, very early. And I'm just kidding. It's not vampire. That's actually one of the most common. It's 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. for many. And that's something I'm aspiring to reach. I just need to go to bed early or to do that. So I require a good eight or nine hours every night to be alive if you want to say that. That's awesome that you just get up and you're instantly awake. I wish I had that trait and we're all different. And that's why I love to hear this, because for those that are similar to they can say, "OK, well, then I can do this, too." And that's what the whole purpose of this is. This show that you and I, we're human beings. We put one shoe on at a time, one leg in the pants at a time. Most of us. And we're just, there's not much different than us other than what you're going to learn here tonight from Gabrielle. That's gonna be awesome. In the beginning, I kind of talked about the importance of reading books. It's really been incredibly helpful for me since I started. I didn't start till about seven years ago. Finally got the smack up on the side of the head, the proverbial, you know, self-inflicted one. I woke up and said, man, everyone's doing this. I should be doing it because they have results and I don't. And so I started getting results as soon as I started reading. And I was curious. I kind of have an idea. But would you consider yourself also to be an avid reader, Gabrielle? And if so, what would you say are your top books that you would recommend others read?

Gabrielle Hartley:
So I read a lot of books at the same time. So that's sort of I think drives my husband crazy.Cause I have like a pile of books next to the bed and I start with stop books. If I get bored, I don't have any problem reading about two thirds of the way through and I'm like, "I don't care what happens." It's so painful to read. But I wanted to share with you today, Gretchen Rubin's, The Happiness Project. I absolutely love this book. I felt that she was really relatable for me personally. She was a lawyer. She lived in New York City and she decided that while she was a happy person, maybe there were some small tweaks that she could do to just be a little bit happier. And she felt this incredible, whole business upon the idea of being a little bit happier. And she talks a lot about habit for me, and I just found her personally inspiring. And I also find a lot of her work and research very informative. And I incorporate I actually might have incorporated some of it in into what I have created with Better Apart,the book and the program. And I love self-help books and I also love fiction. So right now, I'm a little bit more of self-help and onto fiction. But I think it's because I'm so immersed in self-help at work that when I'm reading, I need like a little time out for my brain.

Brian Kelly:
That totally makes sense. It's nice to have that break. Like I can so relate when I read books, I often listen, as I stated earlier. And there are times where I just, you know, I need to stop and I will instead turn on something like Pandora and listen to smooth jazz. It really calms me down and I enjoy that. You've got to have those recharging moments. I totally agree with that. There's others that just go non-stop, 24/7. But for me, I would burn out personally, and that's the key.

Gabrielle Hartley:
So I was scrolling through your books and your list. I I noticed you have Napoleon Hill's, Think and Grow Rich and I love that book. It's sort of like the secret, but the original version. Yes. Yeah. Things as they are today.

Brian Kelly:
Exactly. Yeah. It's it's amazing. You know, the thing is, is for everyone watching, listening, is to do what works for you. And so you can, if you haven't started reading, you know, model Gabriel and do it her way. Or was is it, Gabrielle? I got to see that right. Gabrielle, not Gabriel, that's a guy, right? Sorry about that. And you're definitely not a guy. There's no doubt about that. That is every everyone is unique in how they respond to certain stimulus and how they go about their day. But if you haven't started, start with modeling someone who's already achieved a level of success that you aspire to like, Gabrielle. Right? So start get up at 5:00 in the morning, jump to jump to your feet and then read, you know, really impactful books, personal self-help, self-help, and then mix it up with some things that are more just in the entertainment arena that that help you to kind of switch it off for a little bit. If that doesn't work, try something else, model someone else. And that's the whole key to this show, is to find those things that successful people like Gabrielle do that you can model. That means copy. You have our permission to copy, just so you know. I know in school you'd get..We would get whacked on the head of the ruler back when they could actually do that. Some of us would get taken to the principal's office and he had his big paddle. Luckily, that never happened to me, but I came close. But you do have permission to model or copy because that's the best way to go about succeeding, I found. And get rid of the ego. Yes. Can you do it all yourself? You could, until you hit burnout and you will never finish. We all have the capabilities to do it. It's just it's it's too much. You have to get help. So anyway, you look very, very fit, as most of my expert guests do. And I'm guessing you do something to stay in shape on a regular basis, whether it be through nutrition or exercise or both. What is it for you that you do on a regular basis to to keep fit so that your mind and body that are a team and your team can operate at that peak level performance at all times?

Gabrielle Hartley:
So I am a long distance walker and I also practice yoga very regularly. And all of that I also think is incredibly important and I talk a lot about it in all my work to do better apart is the mind body connection. I don't think you can really perform to your best. Think as clearly as you want to think and create everything you want to create when you're not in internal and external alignment.

Brian Kelly:
Fantastic. Fantastic. That's great. And that's you know, we have to continue to move. We have to continue to take care of ourselves. You know, I'm not getting any younger. And it's interesting because it seems to get harder as I get older just to stay on top of the physical game. And but that's OK. It's a challenge. And as an entrepreneur, I thrive on challenges. And it keeps me going. So just be sure all of you out there to concentrate not just on mind, but also on body. And then when you have those two, you know, taken care of, so to speak, and you have those in your habits and your routines, when you've got that taken care of, then is the time to really dive into enhancing your business skill sets. And so you can achieve long term success like Gabrielle has. And in fact, she is a very successful attorney. And I'm very curious about this. I know you You are an attorney. What are you doing now? What is your your big project you're working on now? I understand you have a book that you wrote. I'd also like to hear about that. But please tell us what you're up to these days.

Gabrielle Hartley:
So I just created, kind of like, the live, Cliff's Notes version of the book, because a lot of people don't read. They like to listen. And and also listening to the whole book would take such a long time. So I created the better part master class, which basically delivers the content of the book right to you in the comfort of your own living room. And I have it very accessibly priced. So hopefully, people will be able to help themselves by engaging with with the content of the book and and with the master class. And so I just launched that. And then I'm also doing a lot of mediation now online. I'm no longer litigating. So I'm really happy about that. I've really turned all of my attention to helping create more positivity. What's interesting is what you're talking about, the mind body connection and about being your peak performer at business. That's really just exactly a big, important part of what I tall about in Better Apart. It's not about forgiving your ex or whatever the concepts of your particular relationship is, but it's about engaging deeply with yourself through the mind body connection, through creating good habits. So really what you're talking about and better apart are both suggesting to people that when we create healthy habits, when we get into routines, when we start to shift the way we think, maybe we're thinking more negatively than we need to be thinking, we're not helping ourselves. And so what we want to do is help ourselves to reach our peak in whichever way that is. So particularly, I'm talking about how you feel about yourself, your relationship with your self, and therefore the relationship with your children and your relationship with your ex partner or with your current relationship. So it's all about deep engagement so that you can move forward and do better.

Brian Kelly:
Fantastic. As far as that masterclass goes, who would you say is your target market? We like to say, well, look, who's your avatar? Who's your ideal client? That would be someone who'd be receptive of that great masterclass that you put together.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Anyone who's looking to get unstuck, feel a little bit better and get clear. Someone who's on the go, has, doesn't have tons and tons of time, but wants some easy quick seems to make the relationships better. It is targeted at people going through separation or divorce because that's what the content is. But I will tell you that the exercises can really be generalized beyond that. There is a lot there about moving your life through the concepts of respect, patience, clarity, peace, and forgiveness. And it's really about this. These are the choices I made before and now these are the choices I'm going to make going forward and creating a whole new construct with which to view your life. And that also applies to you. A business, for instance, you know, you might have been in a certain pattern, but today is the first day of the rest of your life and you can press, reset and recalibrate.

Brian Kelly:
I love that about the, this is the first day of the rest of your life. That is phenomenal. I've said that many times. And that goes along this line of it just brought to mind that, you know, this concept that I don't understand called retirement. I don't get it.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Why would you want to do that?

Brian Kelly:
I don't know. That's that's the question, isn't it? And had a discussion actually last show about this very topic and, I don't see retirement as it should not even be in the dictionary. Transition maybe to another career path instead. Retirement to me means give up and just quit and die. A lot of people say, I'm gonna go do my hobbies. I'm like, well, how long is that gonna last? I want to serve people. I want help people. So today is the first day of the rest of your life. So if you retire, then? Wow, I don't know if I'd want that life, but ...

Gabrielle Hartley:
It's funny like the whole idea of divorce. You know, people looking at so much like a splintering. And I look at that similarly. So re-framing or restructure our family. And when you think about the fact that half of everyone in America is either divorced, their parents were divorced or their friends were divorced, they have something like that. It's so much better if we can start smashing that stigma and start moving forward and feeling good. So then the legacy that we're passing down, we feel good about ourselves. Our kids can feel good about themselves and we start to re-frame who we are.

Brian Kelly:
I love that, you know, because divorce is a very difficult thing to go through. I also know personally that people have gone through it and some close to me. And it was horrible to go through the process. And I love the fact that you offer this service to kind of turn it on its head, so to speak, do a 180 and say, "look, it happened and now let's take this and look at it as OK at the beginning now of the next chapter of your life", rather than looking back and just continually beating yourself over the fact that, you know, a lot of people I think I failed at marriage and they just keep hanging on to that. But look at the fact that I'm gonna succeed at my next relationship and that.

Gabrielle Hartley:
And also people get so stuck and like, "what a jerk their spouse was." (inaudible) How is that helping you? It's really not. So I hand people concrete tools to look at themselves and see how their internal narratives are serving them or not serving them. So like, of course, I wake up at 5:00 in the morning to work on that because like, don't you want to help people, like, really change their internal narratives? You and I, Brian, are actually doing very similar work.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. I actually I agree. Yeah. And I love how yours is all-centered primarily around the mindset.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Yes.

Brian Kelly:
You see that is that,here is the key mind body business. And there's a three patterns. Mind is the foundation. Mindset is the foundation of all success or failure. It goes both ways. And so I like to say that, you know, everyone individually, including yours, truly, we are where we are today right now, financially, personal relationships because of our mindset. It all starts there. And if you're not taking care of your body, your mind is then suffering right along with it. So you get those two going. That's why I said that in the onset. Now you can concentrate on, you know, really building your business and and you'll have everything you need, your tools, your operating at peak performance. And so I appreciate that you're doing this, Gabrielle. It's fantastic, fantastic.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Thank you.

Brian Kelly:
And so you've been very successful. You've been an attorney for quite some time. How many?

Gabrielle Hartley:
Almost twenty five.

Brian Kelly:
(inaudible). So I would have to I'd have to venture to guess you might be an expert in the field just thinking, you know. Of course you are. And that's a long time, right?(inaudible)

Gabrielle Hartley:
(inaudible) half my lifetime.

Brian Kelly:
There are many people that go about things and they try to go for the quick kill, Right? They go for the big buck in the beginning and then think they can just repeat that. And that's just a recipe for failure rather than looking at it for the long term and doing it correctly, doing it with a little bit of patience, diligence, forethought. For you, what is what has been the best way that you have utilized to achieve your long term success? I'm talking long term success.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Though it's really funny that you would say that to, talk about patience and forethought, because as I was saying, the Better Apart approach is broken down into patience, respect, clarity, peace, which is not about like rainbows and unicorns. (inaudible) and forgiveness which is like, you know, drinking. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, right? So why would you do that? So patience with myself is the most difficult and most important piece of the puzzle. And that's why I started the Better Apart approach with patience Understanding that for some people, maybe forgiveness is harder. But for me, having patience for my global vision, which is to meaningfully smash the stigma of divorce and to give people permission to truly remarry their internal narrative of who they are and what their life is about. And that is what my vision is. And so, I can only do one step at a time. And it's really, really hard. I struggle with that a lot. I have my book. I have my practice. I have my (inaudible). I have my master class. And you know, and what next and what next and how my letting so many people know about it.? What are the affiliate programs? Who are my partnering with? And this is all I think about, you know. It's not that I don't have three boys at home. So there's a lot to do.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. And ... I say.

Gabrielle Hartley:
(inaudible) Really single minded and obsessive to get this all done I think.

Brian Kelly:
That that's the nugget right there along with patience. Yes. Yes. You have to be driven. You have to be driven beyond driven and have a really strong reason or why you're doing all this? And you may have mentioned three reasons, right there? With three boys.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Yeah, right.

Brian Kelly:
Absolutely. And you know what? I say this all the time. Women are incredible. You included, of course, because of all you do. You. My gosh, you just...guys would whimper at this. You know, take care of three kids.

Gabrielle Hartley:
He said,"it's a good thing you wrote the book and I didn't, because I'd be done by now."

Brian Kelly:
To juggle that, you know, take care of three, three boys. putting, you know, dinner or being the one that's responsible for so many of the things, the nurturing and everything that goes on with being a mom. And and then on top of that, crushing it in business, it's difficult enough just to crush it in business without all of these other things going on. So I commend you. You're an amazing woman and all women are amazing. What you do is just it amazes me and I'm so appreciative to have you on this show right now. Because you epitomize everything you just said: patience, diligence and determination. I don't think you use that word specifically, but that's definitely something you have.

Gabrielle Hartley:
My father used to say to me, and I have a brother who is close to. My father's Italian. He used to say, "Gabrielle, you're like a son to me." And he meant that as a compliment. But I think it meant because I was like (inaudible).

Brian Kelly:
That's awesome.

Gabrielle Hartley:
(inaudible). I don't think that's so awesome. But anyway, I knew that keys within place.

Brian Kelly:
So, yeah, it's all about intent, right? It's all about intent. So to get to success, a lot of people, like I said, well, will try to go for the quick kill. Others might do things a little bit beyond their scope of value system, on occasion. None of us are perfect. And, you know, some will just get to be successful. Some will go to that, you know, at all odds at any means level to get there if you know where I'm going with this. And some think that they have to give up their values into some degree, something they have to give up maybe part of their relationship because they have to sacrifice. You know, they've been told they have to sacrifice. And so I know that's not true of you, but it's so that we can set this thing level. How far would you or are you willing to go to succeed? What is what is something you're going to say? You know what? I'll go up to this point, but I'm not going past it. But you already have succeeded. So this is a great learning point for everyone to find out who to model and how to do this.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Yes. So for me, my whole concept is to pair doing well with doing good. And so I'm not going to do something that that isn't doing good, because if I was, I would just be a divorce lawyer fighting in court. Right? That's like easy. I can just like make a couple hundred bucks an hour and fight whatever you want and (inaudible) of successful. I really want to have an impact. I really you know, I grew up with divorced parents and people were always like, "oh, you're so well adjusted given your circumstances." It's like, "oh, and from this broken home". it is so irritating. And so I have a deep within me that I want to smash that stigma. That's like that's my thing. And I don't see how that can be turned that. Really. You know, I just it's hard for me to envision anyone on this path. The people who are meeting are all really forward thinking, positive people. That is what my life is about at this stage of my career. And in this stage of my personal life.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Oh, I can't hear you again.

Brian Kelly:
You're an amazing woman and I love it. You know, you just stand for everything good. And, you know, when you first come on in the part of the bio's talking about divorce and things, a lot of people can go to a negative space right away, Right?

Gabrielle Hartley:
And yeah, they said you get depressed, depressing. I'm like, you kidding? I have the best job in the world. People come to me depressed and I'm like, this is great news. Your kids are going to learn to be so industrious.

Brian Kelly:
You get to help you get to help people. And isn't that the credo of all entrepreneurs, especially successful ones? You know, I think we were put on this planet to serve others, to help others, too.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I haven't really thought that much about what it means to be an entrepreneur because I've just always been one. But, it's interesting to hear you say that.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, because think about for corporate. I used to be in corporate. I've had corporate experience. And that's not necessarily to serve others, is to serve yourself and your family to get that paycheck. And then only one serving anybody is the company that is paying you. And hopefully they're serving somebody in a good way. But this a totally different result of all your time and efforts. It's just basically to take home a paycheck and pay the bills. So that's why I don't dig it at all. So anyway, but hey, nothing negative to say about it. There are so many, I kid you not that love working for another business that love the corporate lifestyle. And God bless them, because without them, entrepreneurs wouldn't exist. We need people to help. We need employees and we need companies to run. And so it all works beautifully from both sides of the fence because entrepreneurship is for everyone. Right? Gabrielle? Everyone should do this. Absolutely. Everyone. No.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Alot of people couldn't. I couldn't. I mean, it's a personality. Like, I couldn't have a job where I had to clock in. I could. But it be very hard. It's been this way for me for years. When my kids were little, I didn't even have an office. I just had discipline. Right now, I'm working. I may not be like that conversational when somebody comes into the real ... you know, I'm in my tunnel.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. Yeah. And it's just a total night and day. It's night and day. But, you know, you get to get up, you get to help people, you get to serve people. You get to go through the trials and tribulations of being an entrepreneur because you have to have thick skin. You have to have a lot of patience. Like you said, all of it goes into a discipline. That's why so many people fail,they quit too soon. Find out this is harder than I expected. I don't know if I'm...

Gabrielle Hartley:
Getting the book deal. You know, I was like really focused on, "Go big or go home." I wanted to be with a publishing house. And I have HarperCollins as my publisher, but I've got a lot of letters of rejection from agents. Then I my proposal is about marrying pardon the expression, yoga and divorce. And people were like, nobody really got it. And then I found Jen Marshall and she was wonderful. She's been (inaudible). And she really liked the idea,understood the idea, and then Karen Rinaldi and Harper Wade, which is a subsidiary of HarperCollins, got what the idea. But the reality of it is, you know, what went to the batter was a lot a lot of patience, you know, it's hard. You get those rejections. People like, oh, why don't you self publish? I'm like, no, I mean, not that there's anything wrong with it now that I've gone this way. I understand there's definitely pros and cons of each but every step of what I have done has taken a long time. And somebody said, you know, remember, it takes five years to be an overnight success. It seems like five years, but that's OK, because, again, I'm working on helping to smash that stigma, change that conversation. If any of your viewers are getting divorced or have family members who are getting divorced and they want to help them, I really encourage them to reach out to me at GabrielleHartley.com or check out my program. Because there is, there's just so much that needs to change and the only way we can do it as one person at a time because the systems are so entrenched. And I've worked as a divorce...They are in different states and different parts of the country. And, you know, it's forward motion is very, very, very slow. And we have come far from Kramer vs. Kramer and War Of The Roses, but we're not there yet.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, it's it's truly a process every step of the way. And I love that you mentioned it could take five years and it may take longer. But you feel it's so important to you that it's going to happen no matter how long it takes. And that's that's what I'm talking about, having a why, a strong why, and that's some serious passion. You know, Gabrielle wants to help people so bad she knows that what she has to offer will help them. She has helped them. And so and it's her job to get the word out. It would be a disservice if Gabrielle did not spend these five plus years working on this so that she could serve these people who need her services.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I mean, that's. That's why I let you know I left my family after dinner and I came because I just want to get the word out and let people know and also let people know that if you have a vision, you can really bring it forward. I'm saying the same thing as Brian, really. I'm talking about your personal life versus your business life. But it's really the same sort of concept.

Brian Kelly:
Absolutely. Yeah. And you mentioned something about getting the word out. And that's that's a topic that always really moves my needle is when it comes to being an entrepreneur, the lifeblood of any of our businesses is one word. And it's marketing. It's getting eyeballs and ears to your message. And I'm always there. You know, marketing is so incredibly multifaceted. There are so many ways to market now more than ever with social media and all what we're doing now, right? This is a form of marketing. And I'm curious. I've always been curious, especially successful people like you Gabrielle. Like what has been you know, how do you go about your marketing, your business? But really, what has been your most successful form of marketing to date? What's your go to now? And it may not be tomorrow.

Gabrielle Hartley:
You're going to have to ask me in five years, because right now I'm just like working, working, working. And, you know, I am I market on social media. I'm picked up. I mean, I guess there's some traction because the newspapers are reaching out to me, not independently, which is pretty exciting. I was quoted in the style section of The New York Times, which was pretty cool. But really, I am on LinkedIn and I'm on Instagram and I find people who are like-minded and I reach out to them and we talk about business opportunities together and I run my webinar is actually an affiliate program, webinars. I offer people the chance to affiliate and they can derive some income stream. So there's some cross marketing. And if there they have something that's interesting, I look into that. And, you know, it's just all about spreading the word. And I'm on a television show fairly often on local news show where I do a segment on positive divorcing. I'll be on there tomorrow. We're taping something about back to school. And I just I just keep going.

Brian Kelly:
I love this answer because you are in the process of building your platform. And I hope everyone took notes as Gabrielle was talking. She made it sound kind of like, well, "I'm just doing this. I'm just doing that. I'm just doing the other." I'm like, "Good lord, that is a lot. And it's awesome."

Gabrielle Hartley:
Is it? Is it alot?

Brian Kelly:
And, you know.

Gabrielle Hartley:
That's why I wake up. Because what happens is if I pass out and then I wake up my, "Oh, my gosh. I have to do this." Not to do that. And I'm running a webinar and I have to write my outline. And then, you know, there is a lot to do. And, you know, I try to keep my visualizing like I talk about a lot in the Better Part program. Visualizing the life that you want. And I'm doing that same work. But with my career. Like you're telling.

Brian Kelly:
Well, what I think you just did everyone a favor tonight by saying everything you just said about all the things you're doing to spread the word, being on the television show. Oh, I'm just on this television show on a regular basis. I'm like, "Come on now" To get on that television show, I'm sure it took some pulling of teeth to get there. You know, some effort to get mentioned in these publications. To continually reach out to people on social media.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't really seem like that.

Brian Kelly:
That's because you love what you do. And I get that. I get that. I know you're at your reaction. That's a lot? That tells you right there. I'm the same way. I mean, I will admit this openly. I've been on vacations recently with my family. We'd go to Ireland, to England, to other places. And there's that there's times when there's downtime, you know, you're just chillin and relaxing. I can't do that. I'm not good at it.

Gabrielle Hartley:
And I am so good at it. We took the whole month off because I didn't go since the book came out.

Brian Kelly:
Well, I'm talking about was.

Gabrielle Hartley:
My husband basically said to me, you better not be working for these.

Brian Kelly:
Well, I'll talk about those micro moments like during the day, right? During the vacation. And my mind would go right back to, gosh, not that I have to do this. I want to. There's so much I could be doing right now because I love it that much. Every bit about it, even the dirty stuff. For some reason, I just I'm attracted to it. I love it every bit of the process, because I guess because there's so much variety in all the different things that must be done that it makes it that much more enthralling. Right.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. It's not like doing the show right now. I cannot tell you how many buttons I have in front of me. I've got notes, I'm taking notes. I've got a drink. I've got a cut. Essential oils going over here. I mean, a lot of stuff is happening all at once. I'm monitoring comments and I love it. That's it just gets me going. I love to do a lot of stuff and be busy. And so, when you said, "That's a lot" Like, yeah, I can relate. It is.

Gabrielle Hartley:
That's that's good mirror for me. It doesn't seem like I'm. I never feel like I'm doing. In fact, right now as you're saying what's in front of you. I've got like four books and I've got two different computers open.

Brian Kelly:
Yes. Been there, done that, still doing it, wearing the t shirt under this. Probably. Great. And I appreciate your candidness about the marketing because you know that that was right there. That was so telling. And what it takes to get there to everyone listening and watching is it takes a lot of effort, a lot of time, and it's consistent non-stop. And it's usually more than eight hours a day of effort, depending on I don't know how you do it and take care of a family on top of all that.

Gabrielle Hartley:
It's about really focused attention. Yeah, actually, I don't have eight hours a day to devote to marketing because outshift the work also. Yeah. So I have to pick up and I pick up my kids, right? So yeah there's like, "Yeah I do, I do." I really mean like I pick I drop off my kids and pick them up and I haven't practiced and I wrote my book and I do all my own marketing. So that is kind of a lot.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. That's like pedal to the metal nonstop. You know, eight hours, not just marketing, but working the business in some way, shape or form.

Gabrielle Hartley:
My kids do want me to throw my phone out the window.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. Yeah. It does become a bit of an obsession. But I think it's a healthy one because what our goal, end goal or result that we want is to help people. So why not be obsessed with helping people? Right? Absolutely. And that's why I appreciate you and what you do. I'm looking at the time we've got a little bit of time left. That's good, because I've got a couple more I want to run by you. And, you know, being a lifelong entrepreneur, I'm curious to know your response to a question that. What is it? What does it mean to you? If you could say in just one word. Gosh, if you could just say one word. How would you characterize your life as an entrepreneur? In just one word? If you could.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Is non-stop one word?

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, it's a hyphenated; that works. I won't I won't grade you down for it.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I'd say my life is vibrant. It's vital.

Brian Kelly:
Vibrant. Yes.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I'm engaged.

Brian Kelly:
Yes. Yeah. I love that because I've had so many different answers to that very question. One was freedom. One was liberation. One was happiness. Yeah, non-stop is not. You know, when you said it, I didn't feel that that was a negative response. That was like, yeah, it's non-stop, baby, I'm going. And so it's always...

Gabrielle Hartley:
Also right now, I'm in a building stage. So it's you know, if you'd, if we had the same conversation 10 years ago when I just I would I just had my law practice, you know, I would have given a different I would've said freedom. Right? I traveled and I have (inaudible). But this is a whole different thing.

Brian Kelly:
Right. As it stands today. You're. You're in it. You're in it at the moment. And you get it. It takes it takes a good concerted effort, continual discipline.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Plus people. And I'm having the best time so.

Brian Kelly:
It's so true. It's so true. Yeah. I've met so many amazing people lately that are super high powered individuals in their own right and working with two of them as we speak as a result of just going to an event. That was...it blew my mind. It's been awesome. So there's one question, I'd like to close with. We're not going to go there now, but I just want to kind of set it up. And I ask every entrepreneur this that comes onto the show. And I find it very, very interesting because the answers are wide and varied. It's kind of a deep thought thing for some. For others, it's like instant. They have it. And it doesn't really matter which way it comes for you. It's just it's intriguing to me about the the great variety of answers that come as a result. But before I bring that up, this is the time for everyone to now learn how they can win that wonderful five-night stay at a five star luxury resort in Mexico, sponsored by my wonderful pal, Jason Nast and his company PowerTexting.com. Let's bring that up on the screen right now. You have our permission to pull your phone out. Take your gaze off of this show unless you're watching it on your phone and get out your phone and text this to your phone. So you punch in this number (661)-535-`1624. And then down at the little message area, punch in the word PEAK, P-E-A-K, and then hit that little sound icon. So go ahead and text to this phone number (661)-535-1624 and enter the word PEAK where you would actually type in a message to a friend or family member and press the send button on your phone and do this from a mobile phone so that we can give you back the result. Because one, lucky individual will win a five night stay at a five-star luxury resort and Mexico, sponsored once again by PowerTexting.com. Thank you, Jason Nast and PowerTexting.com. For that, we give away one of these every single show without fail. And I love it. I love to be able to give away fun prizes that are very high value. Getting back to the woman of the hour. Now, there was a little bit of buildup, but there's no nervousness necessary. You don't look nervous at all. You look like one. So what? Whatever. Bring it, Brian. And just just just a further kind of frame it, if you will. There is no such thing as a wrong answer. You can't answer this incorrectly. In fact, it's just the opposite. It's very unique to each individual. So the only correct answer is your answer. That makes sense. So that just takes all the pressure off. You can relax and just whatever best describes this answer for you is perfect for you. That makes sense?

Gabrielle Hartley:
Yes, it does.

Brian Kelly:
Alright, so are you ready?

Gabrielle Hartley:
I'm ready.

Brian Kelly:
Alright. Gabrielle Hartley, how do you define success?

Gabrielle Hartley:
Oh, gosh, my 14 year old was just yelling at me about that just the other day. Success. I think that you're successful when you feel at ease with where you are in the world. Though that might be one thing for one person, it might mean some great career for somebody else. It might mean spending a lot of time with your family. For me, I like to feel engaged. I like to feel, I don't like to be bored. And right now, I feel very successful because I'm very engaged at work and I'm very engaged at home. So that's success.

Brian Kelly:
Phenomenal and true to form every single, every single guest expert on my show. There has not been two people and answered it the same way, identically. Not two and same with yours. Amazing. I love it when you feel at ease and you're engaged, in other words, not bored. And the other thing I found very interesting is to date that no one has focused primarily on this thing called money. They don't know. No one's mentioning that. No one saying, Well, when I get my first million, you know, it's it's very intriguing because I think those who have not been through it like you and I have, that's where they would first go, because many people want to start their own business for that as being their first reason versus going to.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I mean, (inaudible)? Yeah. You know, you're gonna lose your energy.

Brian Kelly:
You're going to struggle mightily because there's no why. You're not serving.

Gabrielle Hartley:
By the way back to better part. You know, oftentimes, money is not going to make you feel better. And it's not. It does. It's not going to do all the things you think it's going to do. It's a hygiene factor.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, it can help you to give you more freedom.

Gabrielle Hartley:
And that's that's one hundred.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. And I think when you when you take away all of the chafe and everything, you get to the real answer. That's it. It's like I do this because it gives me more freedom, but it also gives me the ability to scale and serve more people. The more money I make, the more I can put it back into the business and grow it, bring on more people to help and reach a broader base and help more people, because that's what we do. That's what we love to do. We love to help people. We want to help as many as possible.

Gabrielle Hartley:
The reason that I wanted to write this book and create the Better Part program is because I can't tell you how many times I sat at my desk with a person across to me all day long. Another person, another person telling me familiar stories and all feeling so alone. And I wanted to bring something, create something where I was reflecting back all the stories that I've been hearing day after day, year after year, on a scaled-bigger level.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, amazing. You're an amazing person. What I want to do is it's time to focus on you, your book, what you do and how people can get in touch with you. And a little birdie told me you had a little, I don't know, gift for our viewers. And I was wondering if you'd be okay with leading the charge and explaining what that is to our audience.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Sure. Absolutely. So if anyone in the audience is interested in exploring the Better Apart master class, you can head on over to GabrielleHartley.com for Gabrielle Hartley. Yes. Q On Instagram, go on Linktree. But just go to GabrielleHartley.com and you scroll down a little and we'll see the Better Apart masterclass. And if you click where it says, "Learn more" and "Register here" and you sign up for it, put in the code BETTERAPART30 and you will get $30 off. And the price for the entire program is just one ninety seven at full price. So it's a six week self-paced program that consists of a series of videos that you'll get each week, plus written paperwork that then brings forward everything that you see in the video and then there's exercises for you to do. And yeah, right here we can see that we're scrolling down and we go through all of the elements, the program. You don't need to buy the book to do the program, although if you get the book and the program together, you really it's like one stop shopping. If you have a therapist, that's fine. You can do this in conjunction with a therapist. If you or your loved one doesn't have a therapist, this, I'm not a mental health professional, obviously. But I have been dealing with people getting divorced for nearly 25 years. I grew up with divorced parents. I also all of my work has been very heavily vetted by clinical psychologists. So I hope to see you on the master class once we get in there. There are going to be opportunities to participate in group calls, which are at a much lower rate than it would be to have a once phone call with me. So if you want to learn more, just head over to GabrielleHartley.com and sign up for the free opt-in and you can be on my mailing list and don't that. Or if you want to just go ahead and sign up for the master class right now, which I really encourage you to do. It's all keyed up that you can put in BetterApart30 at sign out. That's BetterApart30 to receive $30 off of the six week program. So that will cost you $167 in total for absolutely everything that you need to get on your journey to become better apart.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Can't hear you.

Brian Kelly:
Thank you very much. So even at, you know, $30 off, that's a drop in the bucket or even at $197, the full price for a six week course in something that can change your life. And again, for that coupon code, it's BetterApart30 and 30 is the number. Thirty three zero. So BetterApart30. No spaces in between. And you saw you can see, I'll put her back so we can see exactly how to spell her name. You see it right there. GabrielleHartley.com. So just type in what you see right there with no space between her names dot com and then you'll get to this part. How can we get your book, Gabrielle, if they want to get that as well?

Gabrielle Hartley:
So right on the Web site, you can just click right through there or, you know, they happen.It's at Barnes and Noble. It's on Amazon. It's something the local bookstore. But if you just go on my Web site, you can just. It will direct you right to buy the book. And it's it's right now in hardcover. And the paperback is coming out shortly. It's a really beautiful book. So I hope that you enjoy it. And I hope it brings a lot of peace into to whatever household (inaudible).

Fantastic. And you can see it there on the Web site. On the far right. You can just click on that big book or there's a smaller one right above it, near the contact navigation. You click on that takes you right to the area to purchase the book. I highly recommend you do. That's kind of like having a user's manual, if you will. And sure, going forward to the class. You know, you can always refer to it. And you definitely want to have in your library, because I'm sure it's got a lot of great detail. You know, six weeks, six week course for 197, actually 137 when you use BetterApart30 in the coupon code.

Gabrielle Hartley:
167. Anyway..

Brian Kelly:
What did I say? 137? Oh, yeah. 167. You got 30 dollars off. Thank you. It's very important to get that right. So thank you. Yeah. I get 30 dollars off of 197. So it's 167 even it was full price. My goodness. Six week course on something that's proven by someone who is proven who has you know this is not her first rodeo. She's been deep into this for a very long time. She's a very professional woman that's been an attorney for 25 years. I mean, come on now. And you could tell just by watching and listening to her during this show what an amazing individual she is, how heartfelt she is, how she loves to help people, how passionate she is, what a journey she has taken on, and thankfully so for all those who need her help. So, Gabrielle, I just want to say thank you so much. Once again,.

Gabrielle Hartley:
(inaudible)

Brian Kelly:
Pardon.

Gabrielle Hartley:
I said what a great show this is.

Brian Kelly:
Oh, thank you. I just wanted to hear that again. What do you say? No I'm kidding.

Gabrielle Hartley:
What a great show this is, I'm just kidding.

Brian Kelly:
And it's okay to have fun, ladies and gentlemen, when you're doing your quote unquote work. I don't look at this as work. I'm the most blessed human being on the planet to get to meet and get to know people like Gabrielle. She is just a breath of fresh air. She's an amazing, intelligent, bright. And she gets results for people that need help. And that's why I love having people like her on this show so we can spread the sunshine to all that need it. And it's an amazing thing that I get to do. Is there anything you would like to say to our wonderful people in partying before we call it an evening?

Gabrielle Hartley:
Just remember that you have the power inside of yourself right now to meaningfully change your inner narrative. The stories we tell ourselves are just stories. And one moment at a time, one story at a time, you can really radically change your perspectives on all things that are happening.

Brian Kelly:
I love that change in your inner narrative. It's all about mindset. And I know for a fact that when you go through this, this course is six week course with Gabrielle, you're going to get results because she's all about mindset. And that's where the results come. It's always from the mindset, centered part of any course that I've ever been on. It's all that...ones I get the most results from are those that hit the right spot. And that's the mindset because we are where we are because of what's going on up here. Once again, Gabrielle, thank you so much. So appreciate you being on the show. Everyone who's been. Thank you. Everybody's been watching and listening online or on podcasts afterward. We're on so many platforms, I thank, all of you, for watching and listening. I have been seeing your comments. We just didn't have enough time to address them because it's Gabriel's show, Gabrielle's show. I keep saying that it's Gabrielle's show and wanted to make sure we highlighted such an amazing individual. So for Gabrielle, I'm Brian Kelly, host of the Mind Body Business Show. Until next time, be blessed, everyone. So long for now.

Gabrielle Hartley:
Thank you.

Announcer:
Thank you for watching and listening. This has been The Mind Body Business Show, with Brian Kelly.

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Gabrielle Hartley

Gabrielle is known for a unique, non-toxic approach to divorce that she developed over two decades in practice. She keeps 99% of her cases out of the courtroom and at the negotiating table as she effectively supports her clients to create a healthy, uplifted post-divorce life for them. Through Better Apart Coaching and Mediation, Gabrielle invites and guides her coaching and mediation clients to use their divorce as an opportunity to create a better life through and beyond separation. She served as court attorney for Judge Jeffrey Sunshine in NYC matrimonial court and is a member of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York, and the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation. She currently resides in Northampton, MA with her husband and three sons.

Connect with Gabrielle:

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