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Special Guest Expert - Jasmin Terrany

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Announcer:
Welcome to The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show. The three keys to your success is just moments away. Here's your host, Brian Kelly.

Brian Kelly:
Hello, everyone, and welcome, welcome, welcome to The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show. I am so glad you could join us. Thank you for coming on. We have a wonderful, amazing, tremendous, stupendous guest coming on. Jasmin Terrany will be joining us in just a moment, I promise. But before we jump into that, The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show, what is that all about? Well, first, it's mind, which is mind set. What I found was in my course of studying successful people was they had three traits that were common to each of them. And that was they had mastered three areas, the mind, the body and business mind being mindset. As mentioned just a moment ago, that is having a rock solid, very positive and flexible mindset. And there are different ways to achieve that. Two different skill sets. And we may or may not cover some of that. I'm thinking probably we will just because of our wonderful, amazing guest expert. And then there's body that is about literally taking care of yourself physically. And that's by doing physical exercise. It's by also taking care of yourself with nutrition. And like this is because many gentlemen out there think that in order to be physically fit, they must look like a bodybuilder, like Arnold of days gone by. And that it couldn't be any further from the truth, because that takes that takes a lifestyle to achieve that kind of look. It's not about look. It's about feel. It's how are you feeling and how do you make yourself feel better? And that is just by moving, by exercising. You don't have to have six pack abs or bulging biceps to feel good. Just keep moving. And then nutrition, of course, eat and drink those things that serve you, that serve your mind and your body, because the mind and body are a team. And more importantly, the mind and body are your team. And if either or any member of a team is not pulling their weight, so to speak, guess what happens to the team as a whole? Well, you guessed it, it suffers a little bit. So those that are successful have mastered mind and body. And then we move into that very multifaceted concept of business and we're talking about sales, marketing, team building, systematizing. The list goes on and on, scaling everything that goes into building, maintaining and growing a business. And there are many, many skill sets involved in that. And the good news is, is you personally don't need to master every single one. The only thing you need to do is get good at delegating and finding those who are and bringing them into your team as they become a necessity. And so that's what The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show is all about. We cover areas in these topics. Sometimes we go off and talk about other additional topics. It's all about the entrepreneurial spirit and bringing you value. And I'm really excited about doing that. And so another thing that really rings true with many successful people I know very few that don't do this is most successful. People are also quite avid readers. And with that, I like to segue into a really quick segment. I like to affectionately call bookmarks.

Announcer:
(Informational screen) Bookmarks. Born to read. Bookmarks. Ready, steady, read. Bookmarks. Brought to you by ReachYourPeakLibrary.com.

Brian Kelly:
Yes, Reach Your Peak Library, you see it right there on the screen. That is a website that I personally developed with you in mind. And by the way, while you're watching this show or listening to it afterward on a recording. Be sure to just take notes. Get out a pad of paper and take up take down notes or do it on your computer, tablet, your phone, whatever your preferred method is, because the magic happens in the room. And I would really not like for you to miss any nuggets that Jasmine is going to bring with her when we bring her on, which is in just moments from now. So stay with us. Rather than going off and looking at Web sites and perusing other things while you're listening. No multitasking focus completely. And you will get the most out of this show. I kid you not. So reach your peak library. That is a Web site that I threw together that I started compiling a list of all the books that I've read that have had impact on me in a positive way, whether it be business or personal development, whether being in mind or body or business in any of the three. And so I compiled a list that actually, you know, met the grade, so to speak. And I have personally vetted these books. This site is there for you. You can go there. All of these go to Amazon to get your book. They just go link to an Amazon link and you can grab your book. So what I would recommend is just pick a book. The first one that jumps off the page. Don't. There's no need to go sifting through. There's 40 plus in here. The first one just getting a habit of making fast decisions. That's another thing. A trade of successful entrepreneurs. Grab the book, read it, come back, find another one and read it and keep moving. It's amazing. And the thing is, I didn't used to read of going back not too long ago, probably seven, eight years ago. I rarely read anything. And then I began reading voraciously after I got some great advice. And as a result, my life and my business have changed. And so I just wanted to throw that out there, that if you want to be successful and you want to get there quicker, then start reading books that are meaningful that will propel you forward in whatever it is that you wish to be prepared. Propelled forward in a tongue twister right there. All right. And speaking of successful people, you know what time it is? It is time to bring on our guest expert. Here we go.

Announcer:
(Informational screen) It's time for the Guest Expert Spotlight. Savvy. Skillful. Professional. Adept. Trained. Big-league. Qualified.

And there she is, ladies and gentlemen, one really, gentlemen. Run A. How are you doing? Oh, right.

This is going to be amazing. I've got to get to know this young lady for the past, at least 15 to 20 minutes. Yes, friends, it's all right.

We go way back. Way back. Oh, man. It's like my sister by another mister. I tell you, she's just been the kind of person for me. And she's an amazing young lady. And I can't wait to dive deep before I formally bring you on.

Jasmine, if you don't mind, I'll just like give people a brief overview of you and your accomplishments and your experience with that call. Right. Own Jasmine Terrany. It is a life therapist and she helps high achievers to be successful in their personal lives, too. She holds two masters degree from Columbia University and is the inventor of life therapy. And that is a combination of psychotherapy and coaching, plus mindfulness and meditation. I love this already. It's right down my alley of interest in virtual private practice since 2007. That right there is going to I hope you're listening and taking notes even on her bio. This is amazing. Jasmine specializes in relationships, anxiety, confidence, body image and parenting. That covers a lot. And that's because she knows how to do it. Jasmine has published two books that have been featured on.

Check this out, CNN, PBS, CBS Parents magazine.

But wait, there's more. Bussel magazine. And she is hosting her own advice show on Grant Cardon TV. You got it. Uncle Grant himself GSC the man. Most importantly, she is a dedicated wife and mama to her precious children. Live and Xen. All right.

With that finally, formally, I would like to welcome Jasmine to the stage. Welcome to the show. Jasmine, how are you doing today? Silver happy to be here. Fantastic.

And she comes to us all the way from Miami, Florida. I am personally in Los Angeles area of California. So we're going coast to coast with this one.

To Raji really is unbelievable.

Isn't it amazing? It's such a great time to be alive. I kid you not. And I am a total geek. So I've been, you know, a lot. I'm an I'm I'm not a young buck either.

So I've seen a lot from a young woman. I like it.

Yes. Thanks. Yeah. So that showed a lot. That tells me a lot about you, Jasmine, without even having to meet you. I mean, I saw this before you came on, before I met you on camera. Wow. I can't wait to interview this young lady. And the thing is, is that's phenomenal. I mean, my gosh, you've achieved a lot and you've gotten a lot of accolades and got a lot of exposure. And with that typically comes success. And the thing is, is there's more to it. For those watching, there's more to it than just the mechanics of doing things to become successful. And when I'm going when I'm leading into is the mind. You know, all of the things we just mentioned about you, Jasmine, were kind of on the surface level what things you've achieved in the physical room. But there's a lot going on under the hood, so to speak, in here and your noggin that got you to that level of success. And that's what I'm always curious about, because that's really where everyone's success or failure stems from. And so what I want to ask you is like, what does that thing for you that keeps your mind positive? Like, so you're getting up in the morning, you might be a little groggy. You swivel around your feet, hit the floor, you start coming to, and then the drive starts to kick in. You become completely aware and conscious of your environment. All right. It's another day. I'm going to move on. So how do you what is that? One thing if you can think of one thing that drives you to hit the day running, and then how do you maintain it throughout, not just a day, but weeks and months and going on?

Well, I'm actually going to challenge the question. Oh, love it again. All right. Because I'm actually. Not quite a proponent of positive thinking in that I think that is one sided and that it avoids a huge part of our humanness, which is our pain and which is our emotions and which is the darkness in which our less challenging feelings. So I actually have a theory that if you have a glass.

Hold on. And if you look at it, some people are trying to be positive, right, to be in the half full part.

And other people get stuck in the negative. Right. The half empty. And you've got your positive. You're you're optimists and your optimism. Yes. Yes.

But what I try to do and when I try to teach my clients is that the goal isn't to be positive. The goal is to become the glass. The goal is to become the space that allows your duality to exist simultaneously and learning the skills to actually embrace, take care of, heal, soothe the darkness and the pain so that you do feel more positive. You do feel more energetic and full. But it's not an avoidance mechanism. It's not like a get out of here negativity. I have to be positive, like grin and bear it kind of thing. So it's it's a much more holistic, energetic.

Acceptance of oneself.

I love that. I absolutely love that angle. Because let's face it, there is nobody on this planet that is 100 percent positive all the time. It it's impossible.

And that can create stress in its own right. If you think I'm not positive enough, I'm going through a bad time. You know, I could actually have a negative effect on you to think I'm not I'm not making the grade.

Well, I think that's the point, is that, you know, you look at the planet and the planet has is not always a sunny day. Sometimes it's stormy. Sometimes it's there's a tsunami, you know, and that's the perfection. That's the balance of it. And all of the darkness, all of the stormy weather inside of us is part of our perfection. Our home is. And that's where the good stuff is. That's where the learning happens. That's where the grooming happens. And and I think that we live in a society that's really addicted to like of the go, go, go like team. No sleep. You know, but there's there's a big pushing away. And I'm not dealing with this whole other part of our humanness that's really beautiful and perfect and it needs some attention.

Wonderfully stated. I love this. It's so important to know that there are two sides and it's OK to have both. They do happen. You're avoiding it. And the important thing I've learned, when the negative part comes that what I call the negative part, the things you don't want to happen that do happen, inevitably, they always there's always something is going to happen that you're not prepared for, that you're not happy with, that you don't like. And the key is to becoming flexible and react to that situation. You can't avoid the situation, but you can change how you react to it. What do you what do you think of that?

Yeah, I agree.

And I think that the idea of having not just flexible but like a growth mindset. The idea of whatever happens is because it's for my upliftment, it's happening for me like as much as it sucks and it's painful and it's horrible, like somewhere there's a gift here. And to me, you know, you talk about mind body business, but I think there's a social component in there, like a trust that there's a bigger picture going on and that everything's happening. And if you're looking for the reasons and you're choosing to see it as such, then you have so many opportunities to laugh.

Yeah, I love that. And I often say, you know, when I hear or all even say it to like such and such happened to me and I'd rephrase that, reframe and say, no, that happened for me.

And therefore it but it's there for a reason. I'm going to learn something from it. Right.

And so totally relate with all of this. It's obvious to me, at least looking at you on the screen that you are physically fit. You're. You look like you've got it all put together.

And I know.

And that's amazing. You know, being a mom yourself, I know that that can be a difficult thing, especially. I love I think women are amazing. You are all amazing. I have no idea how you do what you do.

It's like what women are really superheroes.

No, you are. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. No. No argument at all. You know, I have a wife. She. She bought two of our children. We raised them. She raised them. Really? Let's be honest. And you know, they're twenty five and twenty three of the time.

Yeah. Call me. I didn't expect you to have 20 something else. Children.

Oh yeah. And I love them. Oh my gosh. So blessed. But, you know, to juggle that, to juggle that and a career. And then I mean, just to have kids and keep the household in order, if that's what party or duties are. That's just a huge undertaking. A lot of stress.

So kudos to you for doing that, for bringing children into the world and taking care of them and sustaining a successful entrepreneur, this business. It's phenomenal. It's massive property.

Thank you. I mean, it's not by accident. It takes a lot of intention and work. And it's always a balancing act. You know, I was talking to a girlfriend today about it who we were just literally saying, you know, the this is kind of the biggest challenge that I face currently.

And I'm working on it as part of my business also is how to how to be successful at home and to be successful in your business. Right. Is that being successful, quote unquote, of making money and saving the world at the expense of being present to my children and having a healthy relationship with my husband and having friendships and having a solid personal life to me doesn't feel like success. And so my my real goal for myself and everybody that I support is how to be successful at home to write, how to actually make your home life, your relationships, the connections and your presence, the quality of your your world as good as it as a can be.

Yeah. It's like what is success a business worth if you don't have it at home? Exactly. It's not me.

Home drives my desire. Success. What business? It's not the other way around for me and it's for most people. But my wife. You know, you go through your why? What would you go?

What would you crawl over a mile of broken glass?

Who or what would you do that for no matter what? And just keep going, no matter what came your way. And for me, it's always I've gone through an exercise on this several times. It's always been my wife. Every single time. Yeah. Just were high school sweethearts married out of college. We went to college and got married right out of college. And just I can't be more blessed. And that's that's my wife. That doesn't mean it's anyone else's y that their spouse or their significant other. And that's OK. It's just important to know what that y is. If you don't have that, why are you. If you haven't identified it. Everyone has one. Then that would be a good thing to do because it keeps you going through the thick and thin.

More like more. More often the thin things are a little rougher.

So that's a you know. Yeah. Just from life lesson is, you know, for me, I will do anything. That's the whole reason I do everything I do. I'm on the show right now. This all leads to my Y, which is a better life with my wife, happy wife, happy life.

But it's a happy couple. Happy life. Right.

Understanding her needs. Right. So you could think that doing this is for her. And she's like, well, you never spend any time with me because you're off doing this thing. And, you know, is it really understanding what your people actually need is also different than doing things for them. They don't actually want.

Yes. Thank you. It's all communication. Yeah.

I think when it comes down to it, that's like the number one reason any relationship fails is lack of communication for sure. It's not just talking. It's for toxic. It's communicating and discussing those things. You are just seems like. Look, I just want you to know the reason I'm doing this. And so if if I'm get I've done this, Jasmine, I went way off the deep end. This is a sheesh. Almost 30 years ago where I ended up working myself into oblivion and I distanced myself and completely. I can't think of the right word, but I completely alienated my wife and my kids because I was doing nothing but work. I mean, from sunup to sundown, often I wouldn't come down to dinner because I had to keep pushing. And thankfully, she communicated to, hey, this isn't working. Is it okay? I said, thank you for telling me that it wasn't it didn't feel good. You know, you never want to have that. You go has to get out of there if you want the relationship to thrive. And she means way more to me than what was going on. Then I was like, OK, I'm gonna right. The ship is give me some time and I'll work on it and help me to help you.

And I think also my husband loves the idea of like having things on the calendar, like it's something to travel or some new experience to have. I think similarly, because it makes him more efficient and when you have certain family commitments that you committed to. That also helps you be more efficient in all the business stuff. Because, yes, being with my kids, I see it as like if you have your backs with different glass, but if you have your time as a glass that you have your. If you had a glass and had to put in rocks and pebbles and sand. Right. In order to fit them all in, you have to put in the rocks first and then the pebbles and then the sand. Right. And so the important thing is to realize what are my rocks and how do I put them in my life and my schedule first before anything else. And then fill in the rest of my time with the other things. Right. So if you put in it sounds like you're putting in your your work, which was the sand and you're missing the rocks and there is no room left for those rocks. So the only way for those rocks to fit in there is if they go in first and then you build your life around those.

Yeah, that's perfect analogy. And you know, having young kids as you do, Jasmine, that is that's a tough thing for a relationship. I don't care how strong the relationship is, because now it's not just you and him. It's them then him.

Yeah, right. Trying to figure out how to put them all on the same playing field. You know, my my my parents put the kids before their relationship. So I think their relationship suffered because they put us first and they did that because my mom's parents put the parents before the kids. So she always felt like she was second tier citizens, second class citizens to her parents. So she didn't want us to feel that way. So she put us before their relationship. So as the third generation of witnessing this, I'm trying to figure out how do I make my husband feel as important as I'm trying to make my kids feel. And it's. It's a lot of work. And it takes real intentions to put it. Put that all in your calendar.

Yeah, it does. There's no doubt about it. You know, having been through it myself and, you know, being the man and the woman just has such special tight bond with the kids, that is, you know, you carried them.

You're in their body. Come on. That's awesome. And then when they are now part of the world and we see the way spending time, it could be any amount of time with them. Before there was no them and it was all the time was spent with me. Now you're thinking, oh, hey, I'm not too cool at this.

Almost. I love that I'm a child, but not because, you know, you're missing your woman, you're missing your best friend, and she doesn't.

And she's annoyed at you and she doesn't want to touch you. People are touching her all day. Get off me. I don't need anybody touching me. Yeah, I did like an advice video on this one. But this idea of how to to essentially clarify the reason that dating was so much easier than being married or married with children is because you also had time for yourself then understanding like at the end of the day, one of their biggest challenges is at the end of the day, I kind of need like a half hour to do some things for myself, get on the computer and deal with like loose ends. And he's like sitting around waiting for me to come hang out with him. And to me, it's annoying. I'm not ready for you yet. You know, and so we've just even recently established like. Don't expect me to be available to you until I get this half hour of this time for myself, you know, and understanding, because when you're looking for somebody who's not available to you, it's creates a lot of conflict.

Yeah. And that that's really good that you set that guideline up. I think those men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. What about the man cave on the other side of the fence? It's very similar to what you're seeing now is I got to have some downtime alone and that will do nothing but help our relationship. It seems like it's the opposite. Like, why do you wanna be alone? Because I need to.

I need that just to read, recoup and to refuel. Yeah. And I think it's clear that people are about what their actual needs are, the better they are at articulating it as having a client. The other day was like, I don't want to tell you. I'm like, well, sorry. Know don't tell me. But tell his partner. Sorry. You know, like if you want somebody that can't read your mind and you can't get pissed at them for not reading your mind, you know, unless you're able to articulate it, then you can't expect them to know.

That's right. And like we said in the beginning, it's all about communication. And it's effective. Communication would be a better way to say it is to ensure that whatever message you are trying to portray actually was received is the way I wanted it to get out. Because oftentimes I'll say one thing and I know what we mean and they're going to hear something completely different. I just said, no, you didn't use it and said no.

Anyway, I like to think of it before we switch, as I like to think of it as a go. Communication is a bridge that you both on one side and the other two different sides of the bridge. And oftentimes you like throwing the coins from the opposite sides of the bridge. Dang. Well, this is what I'm saying. This what I'm saying and the idea of real communication, effective communication is to go to their side of the bridge. Hang out with them on their side of the bridge and make sure you understand and make sure that they feel understood and then invite them. Would you like to come over to see my perspective now? You don't give your perspective until they feel understood. And if you have two people who are focusing on understanding more than feeling, trying to be understood, then then it starts to work because both people are being generous and both want to actually understand each other.

Yeah, I like that. And that's like taking responsibility for the communication to be effective. And it's something I learned in in business circles that step that bridges over to relationships because look, it gets down to what is business. It's a really good. Exactly. It's really not a lot of difference. And the cool thing is, if you take if you take ownership, if you are at cause for the conversation and if you take responsibility, it's my responsibility for that person to understand what I'm saying. And it's my responsibility to listen and understand what they are saying. And if there is if there is a a miss my problem.

Yeah. There's something wrong, then that's up to me to figure it out. And if if everyone were to do that just a little bit, then things would be a lot easier. And I found that that was very effective leading my team. Many times I'd give very what I thought were detailed instructions and step by step. And then they come back with something, a different result. I go, OK, I missed something somewhere. I never go, what the heck are you doing? I guess you won't like or I'll say, OK. Where did I go wrong? What did I miss? What? What do you tell me? That scene, because I want to improve and then I'll create a training video that hits all the points and never have to do that again, but has the term clarify and verify it.

I know where he got that from, but you clarified that it's understood and then you verify that it was done so that you're always getting on the same wavelength.

That's very cool. You guys you guys make a great team. I tell you, I haven't even met them. But I can tell you guys are an awesome team. The best. Yeah, that's that's phenomenal.

Just even that you're just saying that not men. Not all women do that. And we'll hold the guy up high on a pedestal. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's it. That's the important. SKIL I think in general is to not emasculate your man, you know, and to understand that in order for him to be your hero, you have to let him and encourage him, because otherwise you're always emasculating him and bring him down. Then you're not going to get the guy that you want.

And that goes both ways. And I want to talk to the men about that specifically. When your woman isn't in the huddle, so to speak, and it's a bunch of guys, I can tell you I can't tell you how many times I've been in those situations going decades back up till recently were the guys would be doing that and talking mess about their woman in front of other men. Funny, you know, and I would never engage. I'm like, I'm looking and I'm gone. Do you love her? Right. Why would you say anything about her like this outside of your house? If you have something that you got a problem and you know they're doing it to make a joke and get a laugh. But right now, then I'm like, man, the way I mean, no, I'm not going to do that.

No, as we did, I think we also as a society are in the habit. Like we want to connect with other people and people gossip and people do the drama thing. And then did you hear and LA because they want to make a connection with the person that they're talking to. So by being by saying something bad about somebody else, you and I get to feel closer. You know, it takes a real skill set and a real intention to find a way to connect with another person that doesn't involve anybody else or any other topics or any other anything. But as an actual like sharing of one's self with another person versus having it to be about something else or another topic that we both agree on.

That's fantastic advice. So is just focusing on the other individual and nothing else.

You know, just man, that's all I can tell you. How are you? Yeah. And me. Right? I mean it. How's it going? I don't care. I just. I don't care. Why don't you do that?

Let's just open up the conversation so I can tell you about Joe and Fred and Mary. Right on.

So you are obviously an entrepreneur, your successful entrepreneur. You've got some great past accolades and accomplishments and still going. And so I know that, you know, you've reached this great level of success. So now everything's on autopilot. Right. And you just get to hang out in your hammock in Miami somewhere with your umbrella drink and then just take the sales calls as it come rolling in.

And another one's close. Let's go to the next. All right. It's that easy, huh?

Obviously. I know.

Yes, we all know it's not. And I just.

It just gets you know, people think they'll hire you elevate in that realm of whatever you call success. But as your company grows, as your business grows, you're making more money or scaling. You're serving more people. A lot of people think it gets easier as you go in. It could be far nothing further from the truth. It gets more difficult. It just you become more flexible. You're able to handle those events because you've grown into it over time. And so for you being a family woman. Jasmine, I can only imagine going through that and still now on the rise and going up. How does that affect your family, like being an entrepreneur?

How do you juggle that? It's I've been really focusing on transitions like my having like work brain on and then family brain on and knowing that those are two very different parts of myself and that.

I need to clarify the transition time in my own head and in my own process and my calendar. However, I can do it so that when it's work time, I'm in work mode. And then when it's family time, I'm in family mode and that I have an actual transition to make that clear to myself because and I'm guilty of it. But like the phone and the distractions and the oh, I've got to just do this one thing. Your mind is always going on to that thing that you think is so important. And in the grand scheme of things, it's not relative to the quality of my presence with my children and my my partner. And so trying that's that's my biggest battle, you know, within myself is trying to be as present and conscious and attentive to the people that I love most. When my mind is wants to go and save the world.

Yeah, I totally, totally agree with that one. And yeah. So just so everyone's out there, everyone out there understands we have an expert in this field who herself goes through these struggles because she's a human being. Ladies and gentlemen, just like everyone else, she just has the tools and knowledge of how to handle it. You can tell that she has put a lot of time and effort into this because it means a lot to her.

Often, oftentimes you find that people that aren't successful at whatever arena of their life, it could be one facet. The only reason they aren't is because they did not make it a priority. And I could see that Jasmine has made her family a huge priority. And that's why she's not only a successful wife, a mom, but also a business person as well. So she got it all. Got it all.

I mean, I think that's the point. And that's what I actually that's I had to practice what I preach. Right, is that I help my primary. My primary clientele are high achievers, people who are super successful professionally. And I help them be successful in their personal lives because it's two different parts of yourself. Right, to be successful professionally. It's your mind, its logic, its goals, it's focus. It's like pushing and it's like organizing and all these kind of like rigid and go rigid you and be flexible. But, you know, there's like it's all logic driven and mind and a little masculine energy, whereas the personal life is a completely different side of yourself. And if you are if you've been as successful professionally, using those skills personally doesn't often work because it's a different skill set. So it's bringing in that softer side, that emotional side, the spiritual side that that openness and the sharing and the breathing and the real connecting, which is different. And so when you're so used to being on turning that off and putting on a different hat and being in a different part of yourself takes work and effort and clarity.

Absolutely. And I really honed in on what you said in the beginning of that was practice what you preach. You know, you have to practice if you're if you're a psychotherapist, as Jasmine is, you've got to have your mind in order. And the skills and skill sets that she's learned, she puts into practice for herself on herself and her family. And it's it's funny you say that because I wanted to plead to all entrepreneurs out there to do the same thing, and that is to practice what you preach. What do you do? Well, I am a digital ad expert. I know how to grow Facebook following on my pages to twenty thousand six months. Great. What's your page? All right. You go look and you see two hundred and twenty five. I'm like, wait a minute. Why would I go? So I've just seen that so much. Jasmine, I wanted to throw that out.

You and I do think that that's that that's kind of the the biggest challenge this day and age is that we've all got our social media image of who we are. And we've all got like that idea of who we are. And I was thinking about this yesterday as I don't have anybody with a camera watching me talk to my children or have a conversation, my husband or what's going on at home. And so it's so much easier to to let that be less.

Ideal.

Right. And but ultimately, like, you have to be your own camera. I've been thinking a lot about this idea, like with my kids. You know, sometimes you see parents with their kids and you kind of just feel bad for their kids for whatever reason, like the parents on the phone or the way that they talk to them or some variation of like you see something and you see that that kid is suffering in some way because their parents are not aware of them. And I'm trying to see my kids from that light. Like if someone's looking at me or my relationship and they're like looking at them like, what is that mother missing? That that kid requires or that husband needs that they're not getting, you know? And how do I get myself out of my own experience of it and my own ego of it or my own needs of it and and see what it is that they truly need, you know? And I see that as my role in my own spiritual, emotional inner work is to fill myself up enough so that I can just be a vessel of love for them and and just be someone who can give. But that takes a lot a lot of work on myself to be able to have that, I think.

I don't know. You have a trait that is common amongst successful entrepreneurs, and that is you look first to serve others. It doesn't mean you're neglecting yourself. That's not what I mean by that. But you are looking to serve others at all times and include your family. And that's how one become successful, in my personal opinion, in entrepreneurship and in relationship is to think more about the other side versus your soul. I mean, how can I make more money? Well, how can I serve them more? Because when I do serve them more, I will get that reward back many fold more than I ever dreamed if I just made it all about me.

Yeah. And you're really good at that, too, in terms of really wanting to create value for all your listeners.

Yeah, it was. Yeah. It and and listeners. Yeah. This is also repurpose some podcasts so you just see on the bottom underneath my mother and we send this out far and wide because I love the messages. I've been doing this for over a year on this particular show. Had a no show before that for two years and I just love being able to have people like you on that provide such incredible value in so many different facets. And it's great space. Yeah. And I love mindset. The mindset is one of my faves. And so I oh, about that in the beginning introduced you as a life therapist. I'm not sure if I'm familiar with that term. What what is a licensed therapist and what what? Tell me about you and your business and what you do in that.

Yeah. So I I went and I invented the terminology of life therapy, which essentially combines traditional psychotherapy and coaching with more Eastern practices like mindfulness meditation. And so the psychotherapy part is really about understanding, like your mind is all about the mind, unders or and feelings. But it's the understanding of why I think and feel the way that I do. And the coaching is getting cleared. Where do I want to go? How do I want to get there? And then the spirituality part, the mindfulness meditation is actually developing the tools and the skills to attend to whatever is going on inside of you. I'm a firm, firm, firm believer that if you can handle your feelings, you can handle anything, because our life is essentially a whole. It's all of our reactions to our situations, unless there's a bomb dropping on your head and you're really in like a serious situation. Most of our challenges are that there's situations and then we have reactions to them. And if we can't handle our reactions, we can't handle our feelings and everything's harder. But if we can handle ourselves in relationships get easier and situations get easier and communication gets either everything becomes easier because you're dealing, you can handle what's going on inside yourself.

Yeah, I love that. Handling your feelings. Another word is emotions, right? And the more you can. React. You know, it's how you react, your emotions and you control them, especially if it's on the other side. You know, the anger or the guilt or the sadness part of the emotion that ends up here.

But the control is the problem, right? Because you think you can control them. Ultimately, it's learning how to become a loving parent to your pain. It's learning how to take care of them and love them and to them and be kind to them so that they can release them in like a deep, true way instead of just controlling them and like putting a top on a pot that's going to boil over. That's that's a temporary solution. The idea is to do the deeper work, which is to really get to the core and find solutions to actually learn how to release.

Sorry, I know you're the expert in this arena. I love it. I love to learn.

And that's another thing I often teach even to my team is the faster you can throw your ego aside, the quicker you are going to advance. And, you know, I'm a guy and guys are typically egotistical, more so than women. I would just from life experience. That's where all the plays that's coming from. And for me, it was you know, I was always competitive in sports and, you know, you could always get in the way. I can do this. I can do that. I can do anything I want. I've got this, you know, all that stuff. And I learned that by learning from a mentor of mine how to release it and get rid of my ego and still work on it to this day. But the more I do that and backo and say it's OK to let someone else shine, I don't need to be the end all be all like we want to save the world.

That's it. The guys want to say the word, especially when it comes to their woman. We just want to be everything to them.

But it's a another fight. You've got to just step back, step back, allow others to take care of things. You don't have to do everything and you'll be liberated beyond your wildest dreams because you don't have to know everything, I think.

Right. And really powerful and not wanting to be the smartest person in that room. Like I'm the smartest person in the room. I'm in the wrong room because that's why I wouldn't want that. You know, I want to be around people who can learn from it and I can grow from it who can make me.

That's a perfect way to put it. I mean, if you know, you want to be around people you can learn from. And that means you have to be open to learning to even want to do that. And so that's great. That's a perfect way to frame it to people's like if you are the smartest purple person in the room and you're holding a mastermind event, you need to get out of that one and get into one where you're not right. And learn from other people who have succeeded. Hire whatever your definition of success is that you you wish to strive to find somebody who has what you want.

That's interesting also, too, because sometimes you know, something like a jack of all trades, some people are really good in one or two specific areas and an understanding that I might be particularly confident in one area, but it doesn't mean that I'm confident every area. And sometimes that can be uncomfortable because we're used to it was only stick into the area that we're really good at and we naturally gravitate towards. And we want to keep getting stronger, stronger in that area. And so it's I get it. It's an interesting dance versus of the idea of furthering your expertise and like really sticking and staying in your lane versus the interest and going into other lanes and being a beginner and not knowing anything and having that humility to not have a clue.

Yeah, I like to call it one. The comfort zone. You know, to stick in the comfort zone. And that's the other thing for everyone watching and listening. If you've never heard anything about that, as you know, the power of getting out of your comfort zone, not just once or twice, but constantly, continually, every single day, as many times as you can and do things that you're not comfortable doing. But, you know, we'll have some positive effect up you moving forward. So it's not just to do it to be uncomfortable. That's got to be sure about that. But it's something that, you know, is going to propel you further forward rather than backward, because it's like, you know, it's do something even when it's out of your comfort zone, because if you're on a ship and you're in the water and you're not moving, can you steer it? Can you change course? The answer is no. For anyone that's asking that question. Because there's no way to steer. You're not moving. But if you're moving, you could be moving in the wrong direction when you first start out. And often you will be because of how you park or how you came up into the harbor, et cetera. But then when you start moving, once you're moving, can you then change directions of that ship and write it and turn it toward your end goal, your end result, your destination answer is yes. And you might waver back and forth here and to and fro as you get there. But ultimately, you can keep steering it as long as you're moving. And the only you can move is taking action and getting out of your comfort zone. In my humble opinion.

Which isn't easy to do. And I'm working on it. You used to not be great at it, didn't you? Yes, that's right.

That's right. Fantastic. My goodness, this is phenomenal. So a lot of a lot of entrepreneurs. I was one of them would we're talking to emotions, and that's why I want to bring this up. Emotions, one of the most gripping, powerful emotions that will keep a person from getting to the other side, that other side, which means to that side of success toward their success is the emotion known as fear. And so another way I like to frame fear for the purpose of this discussion is hesitance, resistance, not the like like Halloween type fear, because we're coming up on Halloween, but the fear of, you know, failure, the fear of what people will think of me, those little fears that caused the hesitations and resistance from us going forward.

In light of that kind of fear, what would you say, Jasmine, is your greatest fear to date? And then how do you manage it?

Good question.

I think my.

The fear that I grapple with most these days. There's a few. One is like letting my ego lead my decisions and getting caught up in kind of.

Significance verses like real true soul calling and distinguishing the difference between those.

Another one is the fear. The fear I mean, I think that it's a it's a woman fear, but the fear of.

I don't want to cause failure, but the the not being perfect. Like when you said, oh, you have it all together, it's like. Yeah. So that's that's the goal. Right. But really the goal is the unconditional acceptance and the the the willingness to not have it all together and and be okay that it's it's not all perfect and it's not all easy and let it all be real and not have to always be in like a pretty package. Yeah. I mean I think those are kind of the fears and the like. I feel like I've had very distinct phases of my life that, you know, when I was younger, a lot had to do with body image. My relationship with food and weight. And I I would have had like an eating thing where I would over eat and binge and then I would restrict and then I would exercise. And I was had like a lot of eating things and I spent a lot of time really doing deep in our work along with my relationship with food, which actually made me realize it was my relationship with my emotions that were really the issue had nothing to do with the food, has to do with the fact that I was dealing with feelings. Right. Which is one of my books. But then I had a phase in my life who was like all about relationships, trying to figure out how to find a significant other. What does that look like? This is the biggest decision of my life. How in and do it well, how am I going to choose the right person? And what does that look like? What do I need and how does that go? And I spent a lot of my deep in our work figuring out that part, and then it was building my private practice.

You know, these are like foundations that once I really felt solid and it's you know, you always come back and you're always tweaking. But it's it's a solid part. And so that was my private practice. And how do I, you know, build a private practice and bring in my clients and what have you? And then it became like being a parent. Right. And now now all of all of these things are still like building on themselves. And I'm obviously still my kids are so young and so. But there's this kind of dance between being a parent and then this other kind of calling in me to to really contribute to the world. And again, in a real way and to feel like I'm adding value and essentially raising the vibration of consciousness. I think the planet, you know, like that's what my soul is telling I'm supposed to be doing, which I'm always feeling like, am I doing anything when I'm sitting at home like reading books with my kids? Because there's a part of me that's telling me I'm supposed to be doing this other thing, you know? And so I think a big fear is like, can I do both? Can I really do this parenting thing and do it well, but also have the time, energy, bandwidth to be able to to listen to what my soul is telling me I'm supposed to be doing, you know? So that's that's my challenge currently.

I love it. And, you know, it's like you just basically said this is exactly what the journey of a human being is like. And then wrapped it up as and this is how business works as well. You have to you know, it's a journey. It's not a sprint. There is to me, there's no finish line. And I hope there isn't. Because to me, if I were to cross the finish line and snap the tape and that was the end of the race, then what is there left to look forward to? Oh, my gosh. That's it. I'm done. I'm just. Yeah. I can't do it, too.

It's it's. It's shifting the expectations about like it's not about how many or how bad. Vast or how big. Like one of my favorite Instagram people that I follow has like 220 followers. She's like not a big deal, but she's so real and authentic and adds so much value. And you can tell that she's doing it just for the one person that it's going to resonate with.

The other day, a girl in my my kids class texted me like, oh, she took it, took a picture of my book and sent it to me. And I get tax. And she's like this years ago. Is it me and my husband? Read your book every night before bed. I didn't know this was yours. Oh, my God. It's just like that.

One moment to realize that, you know, it's not about the changing the world. And some huge scale thing is more about really appreciating those moments where you you're connecting with people.

Right. And it does truly happen one person at a time, you know, and that's how people grow to change the lives of more on a bigger scale is starting out with one at a time and then going back to it on occasion, because, you know, it's all about the human connection and just just making life better for others. And that's great to hear about. You know, people that's that is, in my opinion, the way to grow your social media following if that's one of your desires, that is to be authentic and go after changing one person's life at a time. Whoever happens to be watching out of 200 people. I hope it helps you, you know, and just have. That with your intention and your mindset and then you.

It's more easy to feel successful, right, because then you're you're bar excess of how you how you're determining what makes you feel successful that day is, you know, having some sincere giving in the moment or something of that nature or something small that you can actually do.

I mean, I've talked to so many entrepreneurs on this show, and I found that the things that make every one of them the happiest is when they get a client whom they say who they had impact on in a positive way when they had a breakthrough or when they finally got that one client they couldn't get. But because they help them and just the joy was not because they got paid for helping them, but the joy was because they helped that person succeed and get to the next step and made them happy. And that's what I love about being amongst entrepreneurs like you. Jasmine, because it is so obvious to me that you're all about serving people. And that's amazing and wonderful. And the thing is, you care so deeply about that. I don't ever see you not succeeding. You'll have your bumps in the road. They always happen. We all have those. But, you know, it's like a stock market. You see that line is trending, but you're at your trend line is going like this like rocket ship. There might be peaks and valleys along the way, but the overall trend line, you're you're on fire. And, you know, none of us are perfect. We just want to be. And there's nothing wrong with striving to be just knowing that no one will ever achieve perfection.

It may be that our imperfection is our perfection.

Exactly. I mean, that's how we were designed. Exactly. You're right. We're designed imperfectly. And I don't know, it's a lot of variety. If we were perfect. I hope it was.

I think I think that's why we we evolve, right. Is that we have these parts of ourselves. I mean, I think that's the dance, right, is that we have our minds. We're like, not enough, not enough, not enough, not enough, not enough. Right. And that's what makes us amazing, because we're always growing and we're looking for problems to solve. And we're making the world a better place and all those things. Right. But it's also realizing that every time you're chasing that's happened. Not enough, not enough, not enough, not enough. You're never satisfied, right? It's doing the awareness of like you are enough. You're OK. And I'm calling actually satisfied ambition where you feel satisfied. You're starting from a point where you are enough and that whatever it is that you're doing, whatever it is that you're working towards. Is it coming from the not enough voice is coming from that. I'm satisfied. I'm full and abundant. And therefore, what else am I supposed to do with my life other than share and give and grow?

A love that satisfied ambition.

Yeah. You can use it. I think you should trademark it.

All right. Eight.

One other thing I want to touch on, and I can tell that it's obvious to me how you go about your business, that you're in it for the long haul. You're in it to continually grow it and to do it with integrity and to do it with other people in mind. And what how can I make this better for them? And I've seen I have seen many do just the opposite. And they're just in it for the quick kill like. And I don't mean anything negative about this, but I often would find it in the network marketing arena where folks would do anything and everything just to get that next recruit to make that money. Some of sometimes they'll be paid handsomely for that and they would just churn and bring on people, recruit, recruit, recruit, and then not support a single person. And soon, I mean, the crime ranks climb ranks to be way up at the top of the business ranks and then crumble down because their foundation was built on sand. They didn't support anyone. So I know you're in the opposite camp. You're there for the long term success for those out there that are looking to achieve a long, sustained amount of, you know, business success. What is the best way, in your opinion, to do that, to achieve it and then sustain it going on even further?

I actually just watched this thing with Simon Sinek. I saw one of your books in your book thing. I just watched an interview with him and I really like to do is talk. He's mentioned how he went to happen to speak at two different events, one for Apple and one for Microsoft within the same timeframe.

And he said how one thing that he noticed was that Microsoft, the whole topic was how to beat Apple, how to be Apple. What are they doing? How are you going to beat them? And Apple's whole thing was how do we innovate? How do we serve our people? How do we grow? And they had nothing to do with Microsoft. And it wasn't about the bottom line. And it wasn't about proving anything. It was all about how can we grow and give. And I think that ultimately to feel like anything is worth doing. You have to have, I guess, your why would you call me back to his book? But to really understand that it's it's a long term journey and that we're always growing and we're always evolving and that we're always in process like we're never done. And so the idea that once I get there, then I will have arrived doesn't happen because you will always have that mind. That's like not enough, not enough, not enough. So the idea is, how do I get really comfortable in the process where I am and to focus that moment and that experience and my satisfaction and the value that I'm bringing.

And I think one of the ways to help people wrap their minds around that, at least it works for me, is to set smaller goals in front of you. And then when you achieve them, celebrate them and then what's the next goal and then move to that one. You know, I've seen my own mentor. I watched as he grew his business and literally changed the entire direction of it. But it grew because he kept changing. You know, he reached a goal and and said, well, you know, there's just this opportunity. And I'm now ready for it. Before I wasn't, because now I have the skills because I grew. And it's just an ever, never ending growth cycle. And that's what I love about it.

It's so never it's never boring. Rich man. I'll tell you the things that happen. I mean, today I celebrated a what I call a success with my wife.

And it was, you know, other people might think it's a small success, but celebrate the little victories as you go and live in the moment like a jasmine is so eloquently staying too much better than I am and just enjoy life. I'm I'm fifty five now and looking back, I don't look back and go. I wasted all those years because I was so not in the moment. I don't look at that way. I look at it as that was my life experience that taught me to get to where I am now, where I am very happy with where I am. And, you know, it's good now that I'm happy the kids are out of the house. Jasmine, this is one one step. You're gonna love raising them all the way through. You know, I love every minute of it. And then when that day comes and they leave the nest, you'll cry. I cried when they went to college. I'm a grown man. I was crying my eyes out. And then. But then when I got home and realized that other NASA, like I get my wife back. Oh, my gosh. I did back flips of joy and I have been doing since we're gone. We're traveling together and we're going on a cruise. And I get to have it to myself again, which I may it may still seem like a self.

But mr. Yeah. You get your place and your own life. You know, that is definitely as amazing as it is to be a parent. It's a it's a sacrifice for what you want. You know, definitely it's what you want. Doesn't come first anymore.

That's true. The man it is. It's a fun ride right now. I'll tell you, it's really fun.

And that's exciting.

And we still you know, we interact with our kids are our son. He came and stayed the weekend this past weekend.

So it's not like they're gone forever. Never. They're never gone forever in my mind. They're always going to be our kids and we'll love them dearly and support them. But it's just having that, knowing that I have dedicated time with her. We can plan things together now.

And I think also part of the entrepreneur, like the balance between the personal and professional, is that you want to keep your relationship with your significant other good enough so that once you get to that point, you still like each other. But rebuilding something so that when you get to that point, you have your own life and you have your own things and you have your own interests that you can put more time and energy into. I like that. Like, if you're right now, I feel like my kids and my family are my forefront. And I'm like, just keep planting the seeds in my business. You know, it's like a hamster thing. My private practice is my foundation. That's my bread and butter. The books, like all the books and the courses and all these things that are kind of beyond my private practice. I'm just planting the seeds, you know, and I keep watering them, keep watering them. And at some point, my kids are going to not need me as much. And then I diesel things will start to grow, you know. But the idea of understanding that it doesn't you don't have to be all in on everything simultaneously. Like some things take turns.

I totally agree. That's kinda like your micro movements. Ultimately will create and become become a macro movement. That's just you're you're it's like investing money. You know, you're putting money in the bank and it's growing because your actions there, they're not just getting you farther in your business. They're training your mind as well that you say, I'm just going to step further and step further, another step further. Then you get more confidence as you see results slowly trickle in. And I emphasize slowly, slowly.

I remember, you know, I started doing these like advice videos. I don't know, eight years ago or something, you know. And so then there's like ten views and then 12 years. And then he's like, stop looking at it, like, who cares? And then you go back and all. Then there's like 50000 views you like. That was like seven years ago. And how did that happen? You know, and it's just like planting those seeds and wanting those seeds. Then then it it starts to grow, you know, and understanding that it's not if you're searching for instant gratification, you're always gonna be frustrated.

Yeah, totally agree. Well, hey, we're an hour. Can you believe it or already? That's good stuff, man.

But there is one more question I love to ask each and every guest expert that comes on the show. And it's really cool because it's it's a different question. It sparks thought. Some people will or have you know, they come up with the answer right away. Others give it some thought. And it's either way works fine. But I like to close the show. That's because it's a very unique question. And here's the thing. There there is no such thing as a wrong answer. Jasmine? None. It doesn't exist. Scared? It's OK. The opposite is exactly the true is the only right answer is your answer, because it really is a personal question. Even though it's not that kind of personal question. You know what I mean? So are you ready? Right. I can't wait to hear what Jasmine has to say about this. All right, Jasmine Terrany. How do you define success?

And I did find success by feeling like. There's nobody in my life that I feel incomplete with that if I were to die tomorrow, that there are loose ends, that people don't know how I feel about them. That that connections are that some somewhere there's loose ends with the people that I love most. And that. Yeah, and that my focus is really on making sure that. That I'm presenta to loving the people that I love and that they feel it and that they know it and that I was gone tomorrow, that nobody would say, oh, my God, I wish I would have had that conversation. I mean, we didn't even Tiwa.

That's when my mom died in a car accident in the last almost five years. Five years ago? Almost. No. Hello? Yeah, almost five years ago.

And so I think that was one of the biggest lessons I got from. That that tragedy was that she really lived in a way that was complete, like she was just there one day and gone the next day, and there is nothing left unsaid, nothing left undone that every every I was dotted, every T was crossed and that every day she was making sure that she was complete.

Mm hmm. Beautiful. And the wonderful thing about that question is to date. And it's got to happen at some point. But up till now to date, no two people have answered it the same way.

There's nothing different expected account that there's gonna be one coming up. And I'm okay with there not being one. You know, there never is.

That's even better. It says there's more than one type of shampoo for me.

Yes. Yeah.

The cool the other cool thing is there is not a single person who answered that question where their answer was money centric. One did say to make more money, but then clarified so that he could serve more people. I mean, the end result was always about other people and everyone, every person you specifically in big time about other people, you know, no loose ends. I want to make sure that people focus on making sure that I'm loving people and that they know that I love them. And oh, my gosh, that is a beautiful definition of success. It is yours. It's personal to you, but I love it. It's an amazing definition. Ha! Take a deep breath. So how can people get in touch with you? And I notice that you have a gift, too, to provide to our audience. So first, how can people get a hold of you? And then, oh, well, let's touch on your gift.

Sure. My Web site, Jasmyn Terrany dot com j a s and i n with no e t e r r A and y dot com. It's right there. And. And yeah, free gift is if you're interested in perhaps working together individually. I will provide a free brief phone complimentary consultation so you can call my answering people and set that up.

Cool. And do they call that day too. Either way, yeah. Is that the same number as on your site. The eighty eight.

Yeah. Either that number or you could actually schedule me on my website.

All right, very good. Thank you so much for that high value, and I just want to impart on those that are watching and listening that this is time this is valuable time that Jasmine is offering you for nothing in return, no money. And so take it seriously. Take it as if you are paying a large sum of money for because time is one thing none of us ever get back. And it's a, you know, the greatest commodity we have. And so treat Jasmine with the respect she deserves, but also take her up on her offer. I'm very aware of Robert and I have books.

We can even talk about my books. But if I give you the link or you can look me up on Amazon, I have one that's called extraordinary. You master your feelings, master your life, which is all about learning how to be your own therapist. And it takes all the skills that I use.

My sessions are kind of.

It work with me, but can't afford it. Is it really taking everything they do in session so you can do it for yourself as a book? And there's also another book called Extraordinary Mommy A Loving Guide to Mastering Life's Most Important Job. And so if you know somebody, if you're a mommy or a new mommy or you know someone who's pregnant, it's a great gift. And it's to really help us be able to love our kids the way that they deserve to be loved.

Fantastic. Jasmine Terrany, thank you so very much for coming on the show. Having me is wonderful. Oh, my goodness.

Brian Kelly:
And for all of you that are watching or listening like those that are coming on the recording. We appreciate you. And that is it for the show. We are going to be back next week on another edition of The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show Show on behalf of the wonderful Jasmine Terrany. This is Brian Kelley, your host of The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show Show, saying good night. For now. We'll see you next time. Be blessed. Bye bye now.

Announcer:
Thank you for watching and listening. This has been the mind body visit Shoshoni Show with Brian Kelly.

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Jasmin Terrany

Jasmin Terrany LMHC helps high achievers be successful in their personal lives too. She holds two Master’s Degrees from Columbia University and is the inventor of Life Therapy™, a combination of Psychotherapy & Coaching + Mindfulness & Meditation. In virtual private practice since 2007, Jasmin specializes in relationships, anxiety, confidence, body-image, and parenting. Jasmin has published two books and has been featured on CNN, PBS, CBS, Parents Magazine, Bustle Magazine and hosted her own advice show on Grant Cardone TV. Most importantly she is dedicated wife and momma to her precious children Liv & Zen.

Connect with Jasmin:

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